


He'd rather choke himself than say 'I love you'

by PadBlack



Category: Being Human (UK), The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 18:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8295340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PadBlack/pseuds/PadBlack
Summary: Mitchell leaves. Their relationship is over. Anders can't handle it.





	1. He'd rather choke himself than say 'I love you'

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry but it seems that I can only write 'death' or 'fluff'.
> 
> Thanks to Bella for the beta <3

“He'd rather choke himself than say _I love you_ ,” Mitchell hissed into his phone that was pressed between shoulder and ear while he was throwing clothes into his duffel bag. “Why should I tell him, that I love him? I already have. Believe me, it's less painful to cut my heart out and offer it to him on a silver plate with a dagger to stab it. No, Annie, it's over. I'm coming home. I should be back in Bristol in about 36 hours.”

 

The Irishman disconnected the call and returned his attention to packing his belongings. When he heard a stifled sound he looked up.

 

Anders stood in the doorway and stared at Mitchell ashen-faced, his blue eyes wide open with shock.

 

The vampire returned the look for a few seconds then turned around to check if he'd forgotten something he wouldn't want to leave behind. When he headed to the door Anders took a step backwards to make way for him. The blond Kiwi remained silent, simply watching his now ex-boyfriend leave.

 

In the living-room Mitchell grabbed his leather jacket that was lying on the couch and turned around one last time. “Do you have anything to say, Anders?” he asked coolly but got no answer. “What? Silver-tongue turned to lead?” the vampire sneered.

 

The blond man swallowed hard eventually then croaked out, “Do you need a lift to the airport?”

 

Mitchell huffed in annoyance. “No, thanks, I already called a cab.”

 

Two seconds later the apartment door fell shut behind him.

 

It took Anders several minutes to comprehend what has happened.

 

_He'd rather choke himself than say 'I love you'_

 

Mitchell was gone.

It was over.

 

With sluggish movements the blond man went straight to the cupboard where he stored his booze. He grabbed a bottle of vodka and fell into a restless sleep on the couch when it was empty.

 

~*~

 

The next days passed by in a blur. Anders drank when he was awake and when the alcohol was gone he went out to buy new. It was when he answered Dawn's furious call in a slightly awake moment that he forced himself to take a shower and made his way back to his office.

 

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? IT'S BEEN A WEEK AND NO WORD FROM YOU? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? ARE YOU STILL DRUNK?”

 

Dawn's shrill voice worsened his constant headache. Anders only looked at her, sunken-eyed. “Dawn would you be so kind and bring me a coffee, please?” He asked softly then went to his desk without answering any of her questions.

 

“I wonder how Mitchell can stand him,” she muttered under her breath. Anders flinched but said nothing.

 

_He'd rather choke himself than say 'I love you'_

 

~*~

 

When he finally addressed the need to clean his apartment he found Mitchell's mug among the dirty dishes.

KISS ME I'M IRISH was printed in bright green letters onto it, surrounded by shamrocks. It was a cheap and silly mug but Anders had bought it on a whim and Mitchell had accepted it with a broad smile on his face.

 

The blond man touched his lips with his fingertips in a memory of the kiss the Irishman had given him as thanks.

 

_He'd rather choke himself than say 'I love you'_

 

When Anders blinked a few times later he gazed on the shattered fragments of the mug on the floor. Mechanically he swept the shards together to throw them away.

 

The vampire's Real-Hustle-DVDs joined the broken pieces of ceramic in the dustbin.

 

~*~

 

Sorting his laundry Anders found one of Mitchell's old and faded band shirts. One hour later it was cut into pieces. Anders couldn't recall doing it.

 

_He'd rather choke himself than say 'I love you'_

 

~*~

 

One day Anders pulled off the sofa cushions because he was missing his car-keys. What he found was the phone he had given to Mitchell. So, this was the reason it was always going to mailbox when he had tried to call the Irishman in his drunken state.

 

_He'd rather choke himself than say 'I love you'_

 

~*~

 

Mike called a thing at his bar. Anders tried to ignore it but his older brother threatened to drag him there if he dared to refuse.

 

Now he had to endure his brother's questions and accusations why he had ignored them so long.

 

“Where have you been, you selfish prick?”

“Couldn't you stop screwing your boyfriend for a minute?”

“Where is Mitchell anyway? Did he finally came to his senses and left you?”

 

Anders froze then put his bottle of beer down on the bar counter.

 

_He'd rather choke himself than say 'I love you'_

 

He left the bar without a word.

 

The rest of the Johnson family gaped after him, bewildered.

 

~*~

 

Anders couldn't remember how he ended up this far north by the ocean.

 

He left his car and stepped close to the edge of the cliffs. The strong wind was pulling at his clothes and his hair.

 

No one heard his last whispered words before he jumped and the sea swallowed his body.

 

“I love you, John.”

 

 


	2. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little epilogue didn't felt right compared to the 'mood' of the first part. That's why it's posted as a separate chapter.

_**Epilogue** _

 

Two weeks later Mitchell stormed into Mike's bar. He didn't notice the closed-sign.

 

The vampire had regretted soon that he had left his life in New Zealand and his boyfriend behind because of hurt feelings and his own stubbornness. That was why he came back with the hopeful intention to fix it and start all over again.

 

Suddenly Mitchell realised the gloomy atmosphere inside the almost empty bar. The Johnson-brothers – bar Anders – Olaf and the goddesses were the only attendees, silently sipping their drinks.

 

“Where is Anders?” the vampire asked urgently. “He is not answering his phone, his apartment is empty and his neighbour told me she hasn't seen him for a while.”

 

Mike sighed and rubbed his eyes with one hand.

“Olaf had a vision a week ago and then the police found his car near the cliffs of Cape Reinga. He's gone, Mitchell.”

 

_**The End** _

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
